The Van Alarm Saga - From The Adventures of Tom & Jan

I thought you might be interested in my Van Alarm Saga.
First, you have to know that this week Jan woke up with a swollen right cheek - it looked like the mumps. So, we've been to the doctor 3 days!

This morning I got up headed to church with plenty of time - Staff meeting at 9:00 AM. I get in the van and I hear that awful click, click, click, of NO battery power. I thought quickly - could not find my jumper cables - so I called AAA and took the Buick to church. Now, I'm 10 minutes behind schedule, still might make it to staff meeting on time. Half way to church the low gas light comes on the Buick - I have to call in and let them know, I'm forced to stop and get gas.

After the AAA guy comes, he gets the car running & tells Jan to take it to Autozone for them to check the battery - good idea. I'm now out of Staff meeting, and I try to call Jan. No answer at home or on her cell phone - she has forgotten to charge her cell, so she is off without a phone. She's been sick remember.

Finally at 11:30 AM I get a call from Jan. She has arrived at Autozone and spent 1 hour waiting for them to charge the battery - which failed. She is now calling to get me to buy a new battery - I finally choose the mid priced version over the phone. Next the phone rings and the guy can't get the alarm to stop. The Van will not run until the alarm is turned off. He has tried all he knows to do. Everytime he hooks up the battery the light, horn and alarm goes off!

They call me for info that I don't have, it's a used van - I even called former users & owners.
(Nobody knows the trouble I seen!)
Still no one knows what to do to shut off the alarm. I start calling alarm dealers in the yellow pages, I'm trying to find my old bosses phone number. I'm trying to find a Dodge dealer in Springfield, Missouri.

When all of a sudden - I come upon Sound Depot, (a Car Alarm Company) - their address is just blocks away from where the van is. I call the guy, and he gives me a couple of things to try - still the alarm is ON. Flash, Flash, Honk, Honk, Whaaa, Whaaa!

Finally the guy from Sound Depot goes to Autozone and finds the problem.

Here is the SECRET Code - WRITE THIS DOWN:
On the key fob is a Lock and Unlock button.
If you push the Unlock button - the alarm goes OFF!

Hurray. I need a nap! Jan still has to go to the doctor today - I think I'll go with her and ask the doctor for some green pills. Anyway, I'm just out about $60.00 plus the $10.00 Jan tipped the guy for helping. Oh ... plus the doctor bill.

Somebody write an editorial, call Rush!
The Hezbollah have started stealing Battery power during the night!
The Al-Queda have taken over the brains of Autozone employees.
And a guy in a low-rider just pulled up and offered to jump my battery.
My wife's doctor is named Dang .... & that "Dang" doctor wont' give me any green pills!
Sorry Mom!