A Tribute to Mom

Vera Mae Bougher 1917-2005
Most of us are acquainted with June Clever, Vestel Goodman, and Aunt Bea. (One was a loving mother, the other a gospel singer and the last, a great cook & housekeeper.) No one ever expects to get a Mom with all of those qualities …. but we did. Bud, Jean, Steve & me, we were blessed with a Mom who never ran out of hugs, kisses, pats, pieces of pie and songs about Jesus. Our Mom was able to cook for us great meals, keep the house white glove clean, … for over 70 years, it was given the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval! (Well it could have been.) She did all that while at the same time singing to us about Heaven, and about the love of God.

Last July, she celebrated a glorious life of 88 years! Who knew? When Mom spoke after a family Thanksgiving meal… all ears where attentive. She had been unable to speak clearly for 9 months or so. And yet after that Thanksgiving prayer, she makes it very clear “Final Mile, Final Mile, Final Mile.” No one realized then what Mom AKA Grandma/Great-Grandma was saying, but on the video tape you can clearly hear the evidence. She knew this was her final mile. She fell asleep on Tuesday the 21st and woke up in the presence of her Lord. Homesick for Heaven … no more.

Her funeral was at the church - the only place she would have wanted it. It just happened to be Christmas Eve morning. The family gathered, now there are 60 Boughers … some have other last names, but they are still Boughers! (Sis and Dave, missionaries to the hurting children of Africa, had to fly in – they made it, but their clothes ended up in Jamaica!) We were so surprised at the many friends and loved ones who showed up. What a tribute to Mom.

Yes, there were tears, but not for Mom … you see her arthritis was GONE, her dementia was GONE, her brittle bones were GONE! She had traveled her last mile.

This was really a day of Celebration, because we grew up, knowing about a Mansion she had, Just Over the Hilltop.
(That was a song the whole family would play and sing. If you came to the Bougher’s house on most Sunday afternoons you’d hear a C- Melody sax, a guitar, a marimba and three trumpets, playing for hours. We must have driven our neighbors nuts!)

We have so many fond memories. Most of them are attached to her songs. I not sure that Mom ever knew how she was shaping our lives with her music. Some of the grandkids still refer to her lovingly as the “Doggie in the Window” Grandma.

Her music was a reflection of her heart: I’ll Never Be Lonely Again ; He Wiped Away My Tears; In the Garden; and the song she sang via tape at her own funeral … I’ll Sing a New Song Over in Glory a song the angels cannot sing! Wow – get out the Kleenex boxes.

I think I now understand more about what helped our family make it through the tough times and struggles of life. Where ever we were, we knew Mom was praying for us and her songs kept ringing in our ears.

Memories work better than IPODS, believe me! (Mom did record a 78 LP Record. Try to find a way to play that or explain it to your nephews.)

But the real strength of our family is hidden behind a commitment that our Mom & Dad made long before any of us were born. They decided to be at church every time the doors were open. (Something their folks did not do.)

We went to church when there was no nursery or children’s church. Mom would feed us Cheerios, and put blankets under the pew for us to lie on. We learned to be quiet and reverence the House of God. Is that a forgotten concept? We heard the same songs and the same messages as the adults and it changed us. We found out that if we got out of hand, too noisy, or disruptive, Dad or Mom would help adjust our attitudes by applying a paddle, a belt, a spoon, or a switch, to the seat of knowledge.


(For a long time, I thought that the church bathroom was built just for spankings.) “Spare the rod & spoil the child” was a promise used frequently and effectively. The only place for Dr. Spock was on Mom’s prayer list.

Did it work?
I was a drinker and a liar and a thief …I stole cookies, drank milk and told stories. At four years of age - I needed JESUS! And when Pastor Long called for all sinners to come down to the altar, I knew he was talking to ME! And I ran to that altar. And YES, it worked!

Thank God for a Mom & a Dad who knew the importance of keeping their kids in church. Church was more important than Baseball, Football, Clubs, Boy Scouts, Band, Science, and even Algebra!
(Homework was done before church, just like the dishes were done after dinner. Dish Washing machines and Snow Blowers were not needed at our house. Dad bought those after we all left home.)

Here is the Heart of their Commitment:
What we heard at church was being lived before us at home!

Our Sunday School Teachers, … and we had some great ones, were only repeating the truths we had already been taught. They were simply Reinforcing the Truth of God we knew from home. The Gospel was lived out before us by Mom & Dad. When we got sick … we prayed. When we needed something changed … we prayed. When there was no answer … we prayed!

The Call of God that came so clearly to me, was heard because Mom & Dad had paid the way for me to go to Storm Lake … Bible Camp.

You can be sure that their commitment to God for their family, is still affecting the generations of Bougher’s … even those yet to come.
That’s a Spiritual Legacy.

The songs of Mom will never be forgotten because the music continues to play …in our hearts and in our ears. Now the grandkids & great grandkids are singing Grandma’s songs. (Kirk, Kraig, & H.K. III sang at her funeral.)

Don’t get me wrong, we didn’t grow up with superstar parents.

Dad doesn’t have a Superbowl ring and Mom never got a Dove Award – and they never got their picture on the cover of the Evangel or Good Housekeeping, Better Homes & Gardens or even Popular Science.
But they truly deserved that and much, much more.

I know last Wednesday Mom heard a voice she longed to hear, Come Home, Come Home … It’s Suppertime.

On Christmas Eve Jan, my wife, lost her Cousin Rae. I’m not sure what is going on in Heaven, but God just drafted two of the best cooks I know. Maybe Cousin Rae & Vera Mae are collaborating on the Marriage Supper of the Lamb? It Won’t Be Long … then we’ll be leavin’ here.

FYI: Pray for Dad … at 91, he’s lost the love of his life.
Mom & Dad were married 70 years last April!
I know he’s ready for a home-going too.
What a Day that will Be!

P.S. Somebody please pay all of these
song writers for letting me use their titles!

We love you & miss you Mom …& we’ll see you Soon & Very Soon!
Bud, Steve, Jean & Tom

Hey! One last thought from Mom …
Do YOU know Jesus?