Parenting comes with unknown risks, but also with great benefits. I know, …I am now a grandfather. I’ll get back to this later.
I watch Nanny 911 & Super Nanny with mixed emotions. I wonder just how bad it must be for these families to have to go through the embarrassment of being on national TV with their family problems.
Where are the mentors for these Moms & Dads? It is almost like we have had a generation grow up by them selves.
First things first – I don’t believe anyone can raise a child, without the help of God.
I know, it is not politically correct to bring God up in anything today, and that again I believe just adds to our problems. It doesn’t take a village, it takes a parent who is in contact with the God who made us. So, here is my point: with God in your life, you have someone to call on at all hours of the day and night, who has the information you need, and the power to help you make it through. I need that kind of support, and so do you!
God’s Word makes some pretty interesting reading about parenting. It doesn’t always agree with Super Nanny either. Super Nanny would tell us to use only words to discipline. God’s Word says that we must teach children that there are consequences to their bad choices. (The prison system agrees, teach them now or they will later.)
Check out this wisdom from one of the wisest Dad’s in all history:
A refusal to correct is a refusal to love. Love your children by disciplining them.
He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.
You see, there are times that your children must feel the sting of disobedience. Now, understand, beating your child with anger in your heart is not what God’s Word is talking about.
Step One - Get Yourself Under Control
Sometimes we have to send our kids away from us to get our disappointment/anger under control – count to 10 , … 100 or wait 30 minutes before we discipline. And ask yourself, what is the best way to get my child to understand what he has done? (This is another time to ask God for help – He knows exactly what you should do.)
Sometimes all it takes is exactly what the nanny suggests – talk to him and give him “Time Out”. Note: One minute per year is about the right “Time Out” period – use a timer. And sending him/her to a room filled with toys & electronic devises is NOT time out!
Here is a good plan of action:
Make sure your child knows the rules, as well as the consequences of disobedience.
Stop the child and remind them of the rules, and the consequence of continuing.
Stick to your Rules & Follow through.
Talk to them & use the Time Out Plan
If they do it again, use the Time Out Plan & take away a privilege. Like: No TV, Video Games or Computer Access Tonight. And follow through.
If they do it a 3rd time – that is direct disobedience. Spanking is in order.
Spanking
It is better to use an object to paddle rather than your hand.
Try a paddle like the ones used as a toy with the red ball on a rubber band. Make sure you remove the staple along with the ball & band!
Try a paint stick or a wooden spoon.
Keep one in the car or real handy.
Never spank when YOU are angry.
Young children need a visual – let them see the handle hanging out of your purse.
Don’t make promises that you don’t keep!
How many times have you heard a parent say “If you do that one more time mommy is going to spank” and then never follow through? No wonder the child acts like that. Our restaurants are filled with undisciplined children. Sadly, most parents stay at home with their kids rather than deal with the problem.
Just WHO is in charge here?
Remember YOU are the parent. God has given you a little child that needs to be raised. They don’t come automatically making the right choices – we must TEACH them to choose things wisely.
Learn from Farmers and Farming
I like to think about horses when raising children. And I imagine that earlier generations that were raised on a farm had a better advantage when it comes to training/discipline. On the farms, as horses were born, there came a time that they had to be broken. This process was necessary, without being broken, the finest, strongest horse was worthless. And everyone on the farm knew the value of a strong horse that could be ridden or guided to pull a wagon or plow.
Discipline & Sacrifices were Real
Discipline had a real meaning to farmers – get up early, work hard at planting & plowing or … YOU DON’T EAT. Sacrifices were abundant. The pig had to die in order for them to have dinner. (My kids thought that meat came in plastic wrap at the grocery store.)
Children need Discipline
The problem is, parents must take the time to discipline and they must work together for discipline to work. (Some of our families have pets that are more disciplined than our children.)
Guidelines that Protect are needed
Discipline is really just guidelines that protect and encourage. Think about that little tree you planted in the back yard. You carefully selected the right spot, added good soil & Miracle Grow. You watered it frequently and you protected it from bugs and disease. As it grew, you added a plastic piece around the trunk to protect it from the weed-eater. Then you added wires and stakes to help it withstand storms and wind.
We do a pretty good job of keeping toddlers away from the poison under the sink – we put in child-proof cabinet locks. But when they get 6 or 8 or 10, we let them choose what music to listen to, what TV programs to watch, what Video Game to play and as long as they keep quiet, we assume everything is okay.
YOU must protect your children from All types of Hurt.
ü Who should decide what your child will listen to? YOU should!
ü Who should decide what your child will watch? YOU should!
ü Who should decide what games your child will play? YOU should!
ü Who should decide what books your child should read? YOU should!
ü Who should decide what your child will eat? YOU should!
When in doubt – Teach them the right way.
You cannot risk the life of a child to happenstance, the media, or the school system. You have only a few years to pour into that life. What are YOU teaching him? What will he value most in life? Whether you plan to teach him or not, you are teaching him life’s values. If all you do is work, he will learn the lesson. Ever heard the old song Cats in the Cradle?
Yes, I know you want to be a friend to your child. Well, now is not the time. YOU must first be a PARENT.
A Generation that grew up by themselves?
Children that grow up without parents are called orphans. Is that what we’ve allowed to happen in America? Have we substituted things instead of time with our kids? If you grew up without parental input, your parenting has been skewed. Now is the time to re-think your parenting skills.
Is it time to check out what you are teaching? School is great, Sunday School & Children’s Church is even better, but you are the PARENT. How much time do you spend with your kids? Don’t be suckered in with that Quality vs. Quantity stuff. When it comes to your kids Time equals LOVE.
Single parent - You are not alone.
Let God help you through every struggle, He will. He will be a Father to the fatherless. (That promise comes from the father of the other wise man quoted.) Grandparents can help here too - I know.
Now, that is where we started. If you have done your parenting job with loving care, benefits will follow. One of them is grandchildren. There is no greater joy than to hug your grand baby and to have her one day hug back. Now at age 10, I get to be a friend to my granddaughter, Alyssa. We play golf , tennis, go fishing and “hang out” – whatever that means. And there is such peace in your heart, when you know this baby/child is being raised to know right from wrong. Here is one of the quotes she has hidden in her heart:
Trust In the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him. And he will make your paths straight.
Mom & Dad, wherever you are in this process, DON”T GIVE UP! Start today. Let God guide your parenting and get your family to church!
Friday, August 24, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Connecting to the Body of Christ - A Must for Every Believer!
I John 4:7-12 If we love God, we MUST love others. That is how God lives in us and how His love is made complete in us – when we love others!
You see - Building Spiritual Relationships is God’s Plan for real LIFE.
He fulfills that plan with willing participants ….YOU & ME!
Interesting Church Statistics about Satisfied Members:
The most satisfied church members in America worship at places where they feel like they belong, where they are valued and appreciated, and where friendships flourish.
High levels of satisfaction occur where members are Engaged, Energized and Deepened in their Faith.
Church-Based Friendships that extend outside the weekly worship services report exceptionally high levels of satisfaction.
Members who are engaged by their church (ministry involvement) are most likely to be pleased with the state of their church.
Involvement & Commitment generate the highest levels of church satisfaction.
Three ways that people feel like they belong:
(1) Affinity Groups – through shared interests, meaningful relationships develop.
(2) Assimilation – moving people from spectators to participants.
(3) Affability – friendly greeters, simply by saying/knowing their names.
Two ways to Facilitate Relationships at Church:
(1) Be a Best Friend - 85% Satisfied members have friendships that extend outside
the weekly worship service.
(2) Share a Meal Together – 77% Satisfied members have eaten a meal with people in
their congregation in the last year.
Cultures of Connectivity - How to Attract & Retain People
Friendships with other church members is the main reason respondents say they join a church.
Q. How do these friendships develop?
A. Through Fellowship or Fun Times!
Group Facts You should know:
1. The Family Factor: after 18 months the group locks up!
2. The Size Factor: at 10 adult members you’ve peaked!
3. The Spin-Off Factor: allows your group to continue to be effective!
Q. Is there any correlation between relationships, a strong church and making a person’s faith strong?
A. “For every measure of spiritual maturity tested in this survey, those members who have deep friendships at church are significantly more likely to practice their faith commitments more regularly and rank spiritual maturity higher than church members who don’t have as much connection with other people at their church.” D. Michael Lindsay
Ø Connections build Encouragement!
Ø Connections increase Accountability!
Ø Connections create opportunities for Faith to Grow!
A Hermit may get to heaven by knowing Jesus. But his spiritual maturity will be lacking because he missed the interaction of other Christians … and Non-Christians. That interaction Tests our Faith and sands our rough areas. We become MORE like Jesus after we pass the tests of doing life together with others!
Q. Do friendships have anything to do with churches attracting and keeping people?
A. “The key for helping parishioners deepen their faith is relatively simple: create a faith community that values relationships; spiritual transformation will follow.”
D. Michael Lindsay
“One in 3 members of these super-friendly churches volunteer at their church at
least once a week, which is more than double those who attend less-friendly
churches.” (31% vs. 12%)
Q. Is there a secret to helping people put their faith into action?
A. Yes! Do LIFE Together! Model a servant. Do ministry with them!
“Americans desire not only friendly churches but also caring communities of faith.”
Q. What steps can we take to help people get Connected in the body of Christ?
A. “The silver bullet for spiritual depth is not a successful outreach program or an in-depth Bible study; it is instead, a faithful community of love and friendship.”
D. Michael Lindsay “ The power of the data is impressive.”
“People friendly congregations are places where friendships flourish and acts of caring are common, and the two go together.”
“Relationship is at the core of Christian community, and relationship can only occur in the presence of knowing and being known.”
I Cor. 12:24 & 25 “God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.
When we learn to worship the Father, He shows up & changes us. When we hang out with the Father, & with others who love the Father, His ways become our ways. When His heart becomes our heart … we see that the harvest is ready & we submit to His call & become a harvester. Evangelism happens when our eyes see the hurting & the lost and our feet follow to do something about it!
So we MUST:
1. Love them in the Parking Lot.
2. Love them at the Front Door.
3. Love them at Check-In with their kids.
4. Love them in the Hall, Sanctuary, Fellowship Hall, & the Coffee Shop.
5. Invite them to Join YOU in fellowship … in a Small Group!
6. Teach them (Model It)- to love the world by Serving & Sharing!
You see - Building Spiritual Relationships is God’s Plan for real LIFE.
He fulfills that plan with willing participants ….YOU & ME!
Interesting Church Statistics about Satisfied Members:
The most satisfied church members in America worship at places where they feel like they belong, where they are valued and appreciated, and where friendships flourish.
High levels of satisfaction occur where members are Engaged, Energized and Deepened in their Faith.
Church-Based Friendships that extend outside the weekly worship services report exceptionally high levels of satisfaction.
Members who are engaged by their church (ministry involvement) are most likely to be pleased with the state of their church.
Involvement & Commitment generate the highest levels of church satisfaction.
Three ways that people feel like they belong:
(1) Affinity Groups – through shared interests, meaningful relationships develop.
(2) Assimilation – moving people from spectators to participants.
(3) Affability – friendly greeters, simply by saying/knowing their names.
Two ways to Facilitate Relationships at Church:
(1) Be a Best Friend - 85% Satisfied members have friendships that extend outside
the weekly worship service.
(2) Share a Meal Together – 77% Satisfied members have eaten a meal with people in
their congregation in the last year.
Cultures of Connectivity - How to Attract & Retain People
Friendships with other church members is the main reason respondents say they join a church.
Q. How do these friendships develop?
A. Through Fellowship or Fun Times!
Group Facts You should know:
1. The Family Factor: after 18 months the group locks up!
2. The Size Factor: at 10 adult members you’ve peaked!
3. The Spin-Off Factor: allows your group to continue to be effective!
Q. Is there any correlation between relationships, a strong church and making a person’s faith strong?
A. “For every measure of spiritual maturity tested in this survey, those members who have deep friendships at church are significantly more likely to practice their faith commitments more regularly and rank spiritual maturity higher than church members who don’t have as much connection with other people at their church.” D. Michael Lindsay
Ø Connections build Encouragement!
Ø Connections increase Accountability!
Ø Connections create opportunities for Faith to Grow!
A Hermit may get to heaven by knowing Jesus. But his spiritual maturity will be lacking because he missed the interaction of other Christians … and Non-Christians. That interaction Tests our Faith and sands our rough areas. We become MORE like Jesus after we pass the tests of doing life together with others!
Q. Do friendships have anything to do with churches attracting and keeping people?
A. “The key for helping parishioners deepen their faith is relatively simple: create a faith community that values relationships; spiritual transformation will follow.”
D. Michael Lindsay
“One in 3 members of these super-friendly churches volunteer at their church at
least once a week, which is more than double those who attend less-friendly
churches.” (31% vs. 12%)
Q. Is there a secret to helping people put their faith into action?
A. Yes! Do LIFE Together! Model a servant. Do ministry with them!
“Americans desire not only friendly churches but also caring communities of faith.”
Q. What steps can we take to help people get Connected in the body of Christ?
A. “The silver bullet for spiritual depth is not a successful outreach program or an in-depth Bible study; it is instead, a faithful community of love and friendship.”
D. Michael Lindsay “ The power of the data is impressive.”
“People friendly congregations are places where friendships flourish and acts of caring are common, and the two go together.”
“Relationship is at the core of Christian community, and relationship can only occur in the presence of knowing and being known.”
I Cor. 12:24 & 25 “God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.
When we learn to worship the Father, He shows up & changes us. When we hang out with the Father, & with others who love the Father, His ways become our ways. When His heart becomes our heart … we see that the harvest is ready & we submit to His call & become a harvester. Evangelism happens when our eyes see the hurting & the lost and our feet follow to do something about it!
So we MUST:
1. Love them in the Parking Lot.
2. Love them at the Front Door.
3. Love them at Check-In with their kids.
4. Love them in the Hall, Sanctuary, Fellowship Hall, & the Coffee Shop.
5. Invite them to Join YOU in fellowship … in a Small Group!
6. Teach them (Model It)- to love the world by Serving & Sharing!
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Santa Claus, The Little Drummer Boy, Frosty, Rudolph and Jesus
Merry Christmas! Yes, I said it … Merry Christmas! I know that we live in a world that is no longer celebrating the birth of Christ, we don’t want to offend anyone, so I’m supposed to say “Happy Holiday” to you. But what Holiday are we celebrating?
Most kids can sing you every lyric to Here Comes Santa Claus and Frosty the Snowman … but do they know ... Away in a Manger?
Who is telling our children and grandchildren that Christmas is the celebration of the birth of God’s only Son?
When Joseph and Mary went to Bethlehem, they went to fulfill a required journey by Rome – to pay their taxes! While there, “the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.”
Luke 2:4-7
The world has so diluted the reality of Christmas, that many families put Jesus in the same category as Frosty the Snowman and Santa Claus. To them they are ALL … FICTIONAL CHARACTERS!
Some of our kids really think that a drummer boy showed up at the manger.
Who will tell them that God needed someone to take our place?
In our town, Wal-Mart was displaying Christmas decorations and products for Christmas before October ended. Through all of December, we have FM Stations playing Christmas Music 24 hours a day. Problem is, they are playing all kinds of Holiday music. Frosty is a fun song … but he runs away and melts, the little drummer boy grows up & joins a rock band … then dies from an overdose.
Here’s their story:
Santa gives us toys, ... IF we are good, … IF we are bad, we get coal or switches!
Here’s the REAL Story:
But “God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:17
You can deck the Halls with boughs of holly,
but ....
- without JESUS there is NO Celebration,
- without JESUS there is NO Peace!
He is the JOY that God gives to the World.
He is the PEACE that everyman longs for.
There are still real Christmas Songs to sing:
Joy to the World the LORD is Come!
Let Heaven and nature SING!
Oh Holy Night!
Who will tell our kids the TRUTH?
Santa Claus is fun, Frosty is cute, and the Little Drummer Boy and Rudolph have lessons to teach us. Yes, sleigh rides and jingle bells are exciting.
But only JESUS made a way …
NO we must make it very plain: He made the ONLY WAY for us to get to Heaven.
- SIN separates us from a Holy God.
- Religion is man seeking God. There are many religions.
- Jesus came to connect us back to the Father. (God seeking MAN!)
“In the beginning was the Word (JESUS) and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.” John 1:1-2
"He was in the world, and though the world was made by Him, the world did not recognize Him. He came to that which was His own, but His own did not receive Him. Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God." John 1:10-12
This is a story that MUST be told!
There is NO other way to Heaven.
There is NO other name whereby men can be saved.
The Angel met with Mary and told her the news –
“You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end.” Luke 1:31-33
Sugarplum fairies may dance in your head … but that's because there’s too much ambrosia in your tummy! And there will be candy in your stocking because someone wants to keep the Santa legend alive.
But JESUS is no fictional character!
Who will tell our kids HIS STORY?
Don’t let the fun of Christmas overshadow the TRUTH of who He is.
Isaiah the prophet wrote about Him, hundreds of years before His birth.
“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be upon his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6
YOU are leaving a memory with every Christmas you celebrate.
What is the story you are telling?
Who do your kids believe in?
Sing the songs that tell the story!
Celebrate the birthday of the KING of KINGS!
Most kids can sing you every lyric to Here Comes Santa Claus and Frosty the Snowman … but do they know ... Away in a Manger?
Who is telling our children and grandchildren that Christmas is the celebration of the birth of God’s only Son?
When Joseph and Mary went to Bethlehem, they went to fulfill a required journey by Rome – to pay their taxes! While there, “the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.”
Luke 2:4-7
The world has so diluted the reality of Christmas, that many families put Jesus in the same category as Frosty the Snowman and Santa Claus. To them they are ALL … FICTIONAL CHARACTERS!
Some of our kids really think that a drummer boy showed up at the manger.
Who will tell them that God needed someone to take our place?
In our town, Wal-Mart was displaying Christmas decorations and products for Christmas before October ended. Through all of December, we have FM Stations playing Christmas Music 24 hours a day. Problem is, they are playing all kinds of Holiday music. Frosty is a fun song … but he runs away and melts, the little drummer boy grows up & joins a rock band … then dies from an overdose.
Here’s their story:
Santa gives us toys, ... IF we are good, … IF we are bad, we get coal or switches!
Here’s the REAL Story:
But “God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:17
You can deck the Halls with boughs of holly,
but ....
- without JESUS there is NO Celebration,
- without JESUS there is NO Peace!
He is the JOY that God gives to the World.
He is the PEACE that everyman longs for.
There are still real Christmas Songs to sing:
Joy to the World the LORD is Come!
Let Heaven and nature SING!
Oh Holy Night!
Who will tell our kids the TRUTH?
Santa Claus is fun, Frosty is cute, and the Little Drummer Boy and Rudolph have lessons to teach us. Yes, sleigh rides and jingle bells are exciting.
But only JESUS made a way …
NO we must make it very plain: He made the ONLY WAY for us to get to Heaven.
- SIN separates us from a Holy God.
- Religion is man seeking God. There are many religions.
- Jesus came to connect us back to the Father. (God seeking MAN!)
“In the beginning was the Word (JESUS) and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.” John 1:1-2
"He was in the world, and though the world was made by Him, the world did not recognize Him. He came to that which was His own, but His own did not receive Him. Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God." John 1:10-12
This is a story that MUST be told!
There is NO other way to Heaven.
There is NO other name whereby men can be saved.
The Angel met with Mary and told her the news –
“You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end.” Luke 1:31-33
Sugarplum fairies may dance in your head … but that's because there’s too much ambrosia in your tummy! And there will be candy in your stocking because someone wants to keep the Santa legend alive.
But JESUS is no fictional character!
Who will tell our kids HIS STORY?
Don’t let the fun of Christmas overshadow the TRUTH of who He is.
Isaiah the prophet wrote about Him, hundreds of years before His birth.
“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be upon his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6
YOU are leaving a memory with every Christmas you celebrate.
What is the story you are telling?
Who do your kids believe in?
Sing the songs that tell the story!
Celebrate the birthday of the KING of KINGS!
And MERRY CHRISTMAS to all!
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Bud - Memories of a Big Brother!
The Boughers have once again been asked to deal with the loss of a family member. On Wednesday, November 15th, my oldest brother, Bud passed away, at age 70.
Harry Kenneth Bougher Jr. Oct. 6 1936 – Nov. 15, 2006
We didn’t expect this to happen. (Dad is 92, doing pretty well at a nursing home in Urbandale, Iowa.) We thought that we had Bud for at least 20 more years. We can only rest in the fact that God does all things well.
We Celebrated Bud’s Homecoming in real Iowa Style
We started the funeral with the Iowa Marching Band playing. First it was the drum corps and then the whole band played the Iowa Fight song. This was no regular funeral – the family was all dressed in black …. Black & Gold, Iowa Hawkeye colors! We all marched in behind the casket, little Graham leading the way. Bud would have been proud.
Iowa Hawkeye’s Season Tickets
For the first time ever, Bud & Steve bought season tickets to watch Iowa play football. Bud & Steve took 2 kids every Saturday. 4 Boughers in the same car for a 2 hour trip plus 4 hours at a game. The kids got to go with their Papo (pronounced: Pop – O) and hear him laugh and holler for hours! “AAAAA!” they would holler. (They sat in the “A” section, the crowd was expected to spell out “I-O-W-A”during the game. My 2 brothers would start the “AAAA” at anytime they deemed necessary.)Bud’s last game was the Saturday before he died – Iowa’s last home game of the season. God had a plan! (We all wish the Hawks had played better!)
The Fun - eral
For over 2 hours the people at the funeral heard stories of the love and laughter Bud brought into our lives. Stories of Christmases past, where reindeer hooves were heard on the roof and sleigh bells rang out side the boy’s window – all to help encourage the Santa story. Bud & Steve could have written scenes for Mission Impossible – no prank was too difficult, it had to be done, and it had to be done right. I have no doubt that their shenanigans were developed by observing our Dad!
12 Grand Kids!
Funeral attendees heard the Eternal Hope from everyone of Bud’s 12 grandkids, that one day soon, we’ll have another Bougher Family Celebration, … next time in Heaven. Way to go Nephews & Nieces – Christ in You is the hope of Glory!
Mom always sang at Weddings & Funerals
Mom sang at Bud’s funeral via video tape. (Mom passed away last Christmas.) Somebody found a video of Mom singing “Home Sick for Heaven.” That song/video emptied many boxes of Kleenex. Thanks First A/G for the tape!
Nicknames
We told about Bud’s use of nicknames. He had one for everybody:
Tricky Dickey, Wee Willie, Bo Weave, Anna Banana, Aunt Weiners, Legs, Turkey Lurkey, Hose Nose and Scooby Doo …just to name a few. Hang around the Bougher Boys long enough and you’ll get one!
World Class Belching!
No, we didn’t talk about his unusual habit of belching louder than humanly possible. (It was church after all.) Thanks to many bottles of Pepsi, Bud developed this gift/? to the amusement of some and to the dismay of our mother. I once was with Bud on a trip to the mall. Upon exiting Sears, you enter the main section of the mall – a very echo-ie section of the mall. It was there, that he decided to test just how loud and long he could belch. Then after finishing, a little lady came around from behind a planter, looking at us in disbelief and Bud pointed to me, as if I was the perpetrator of such a loud uncouth sound! Lady, if you’re reading this, it really wasn’t me!
After displaying his gift, Mom would always say, “Bud, I’m waiting!”
That was Mom’s way of trying to teach Bud some manners. Bud was supposed to say, “Excuse me.” And somehow that was supposed to erase that obnoxious sound from our memory. (You can tell it didn’t work.)
Big Brother #1
To a 4 year old kid, there was nothing like hearing the sound of your big brother’s old Ford coming down the driveway. There was a hug at the door and a Peter Paul Mound in his pocket. So much to remember. Catching baseballs, footballs, Whiffle balls, and dodging snow balls. Learning to ride a bike without training wheels! Who needed training wheels? I had a brother on each side of my bike. Learning so much … sometimes learning what NOT to do. (That is one of the advantages of being the youngest.)
Anything that Bud passed down was seen as gold. ‘Cause if Bud wore it or used it …. it was just great. Bud was 16 the day after I was born, Steve was 9, so I didn’t need Bat Man & Robin, I had 2 Big Brothers!
He may not have known just how much influence he would have on his 2 younger brothers. We had flat tops … just like Bud. We keep our cars clean and waxed … just like Bud. We still spit shine our dress shoes, just like Bud!
Bud left a lasting legacy of Love, Laughter & Life. Live life full blast, Love with all your heart, and squeeze some heads along the way!
Bud was our Columbus, … with Steve they were Lewis & Clark. There was no way I was going to fail. Bud believed and taught us all, “I did it … YOU Can Do It” … and so we did!
Can you Belch in Heaven?
If belching is possible in Heaven, there are some lessons going on.
I think that may have been Bud’s signal at the pearly gates …
Beeeee yaaaaaaah ooooahhhh uuuuuuuuhhh aaaahhhhh uuuuuup!
Then he heard, “Bud, I’m waiting!”
Thursday, August 24, 2006
The Van Alarm Saga - From The Adventures of Tom & Jan
I thought you might be interested in my Van Alarm Saga.
First, you have to know that this week Jan woke up with a swollen right cheek - it looked like the mumps. So, we've been to the doctor 3 days!
This morning I got up headed to church with plenty of time - Staff meeting at 9:00 AM. I get in the van and I hear that awful click, click, click, of NO battery power. I thought quickly - could not find my jumper cables - so I called AAA and took the Buick to church. Now, I'm 10 minutes behind schedule, still might make it to staff meeting on time. Half way to church the low gas light comes on the Buick - I have to call in and let them know, I'm forced to stop and get gas.
After the AAA guy comes, he gets the car running & tells Jan to take it to Autozone for them to check the battery - good idea. I'm now out of Staff meeting, and I try to call Jan. No answer at home or on her cell phone - she has forgotten to charge her cell, so she is off without a phone. She's been sick remember.
Finally at 11:30 AM I get a call from Jan. She has arrived at Autozone and spent 1 hour waiting for them to charge the battery - which failed. She is now calling to get me to buy a new battery - I finally choose the mid priced version over the phone. Next the phone rings and the guy can't get the alarm to stop. The Van will not run until the alarm is turned off. He has tried all he knows to do. Everytime he hooks up the battery the light, horn and alarm goes off!
They call me for info that I don't have, it's a used van - I even called former users & owners.
(Nobody knows the trouble I seen!)
Still no one knows what to do to shut off the alarm. I start calling alarm dealers in the yellow pages, I'm trying to find my old bosses phone number. I'm trying to find a Dodge dealer in Springfield, Missouri.
When all of a sudden - I come upon Sound Depot, (a Car Alarm Company) - their address is just blocks away from where the van is. I call the guy, and he gives me a couple of things to try - still the alarm is ON. Flash, Flash, Honk, Honk, Whaaa, Whaaa!
Finally the guy from Sound Depot goes to Autozone and finds the problem.
Here is the SECRET Code - WRITE THIS DOWN:
On the key fob is a Lock and Unlock button.
If you push the Unlock button - the alarm goes OFF!
Hurray. I need a nap! Jan still has to go to the doctor today - I think I'll go with her and ask the doctor for some green pills. Anyway, I'm just out about $60.00 plus the $10.00 Jan tipped the guy for helping. Oh ... plus the doctor bill.
Somebody write an editorial, call Rush!
The Hezbollah have started stealing Battery power during the night!
The Al-Queda have taken over the brains of Autozone employees.
And a guy in a low-rider just pulled up and offered to jump my battery.
My wife's doctor is named Dang .... & that "Dang" doctor wont' give me any green pills!
Sorry Mom!
First, you have to know that this week Jan woke up with a swollen right cheek - it looked like the mumps. So, we've been to the doctor 3 days!
This morning I got up headed to church with plenty of time - Staff meeting at 9:00 AM. I get in the van and I hear that awful click, click, click, of NO battery power. I thought quickly - could not find my jumper cables - so I called AAA and took the Buick to church. Now, I'm 10 minutes behind schedule, still might make it to staff meeting on time. Half way to church the low gas light comes on the Buick - I have to call in and let them know, I'm forced to stop and get gas.
After the AAA guy comes, he gets the car running & tells Jan to take it to Autozone for them to check the battery - good idea. I'm now out of Staff meeting, and I try to call Jan. No answer at home or on her cell phone - she has forgotten to charge her cell, so she is off without a phone. She's been sick remember.
Finally at 11:30 AM I get a call from Jan. She has arrived at Autozone and spent 1 hour waiting for them to charge the battery - which failed. She is now calling to get me to buy a new battery - I finally choose the mid priced version over the phone. Next the phone rings and the guy can't get the alarm to stop. The Van will not run until the alarm is turned off. He has tried all he knows to do. Everytime he hooks up the battery the light, horn and alarm goes off!
They call me for info that I don't have, it's a used van - I even called former users & owners.
(Nobody knows the trouble I seen!)
Still no one knows what to do to shut off the alarm. I start calling alarm dealers in the yellow pages, I'm trying to find my old bosses phone number. I'm trying to find a Dodge dealer in Springfield, Missouri.
When all of a sudden - I come upon Sound Depot, (a Car Alarm Company) - their address is just blocks away from where the van is. I call the guy, and he gives me a couple of things to try - still the alarm is ON. Flash, Flash, Honk, Honk, Whaaa, Whaaa!
Finally the guy from Sound Depot goes to Autozone and finds the problem.
Here is the SECRET Code - WRITE THIS DOWN:
On the key fob is a Lock and Unlock button.
If you push the Unlock button - the alarm goes OFF!
Hurray. I need a nap! Jan still has to go to the doctor today - I think I'll go with her and ask the doctor for some green pills. Anyway, I'm just out about $60.00 plus the $10.00 Jan tipped the guy for helping. Oh ... plus the doctor bill.
Somebody write an editorial, call Rush!
The Hezbollah have started stealing Battery power during the night!
The Al-Queda have taken over the brains of Autozone employees.
And a guy in a low-rider just pulled up and offered to jump my battery.
My wife's doctor is named Dang .... & that "Dang" doctor wont' give me any green pills!
Sorry Mom!
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Cruisin' for Christ!
Who knew that this was a mission field? We left Huntsville, on Monday excited about the opportunity to be on a Christian cruise.
“Cruise with a Cause” they called it. Over 2000 Christians on the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. It really was a great place, the bars were closed, the casino had no customers, and all of the auditoriums were filled with seminars and Christian concerts. Monday afternoon we left Port Canaveral and headed out into the deep.
On Tuesday, we landed in Freeport, Bahamas, a Christian nation … that still needs Jesus. We infiltrated the schools with assemblies, we witnessed in the streets and that night over 1600 people came to know Jesus at the Sports Complex. Wow!
But the best part was hearing from the staff on the cruise line. We were told the report that the crew had truly noticed a difference in the life and attitudes of these cruisers. They stated that they had never been treated like “PEOPLE” before. And the pizza manager wanted to know more about this Jesus. Get out the Kleenex!
Paul said we are living epistles … people really are reading our lives! Who knew that the mission field was on a boat named Sovereign of the Seas?
We went to the Bahamas to share Christ, but we touched over 52 nations of the world on that cruise line.
Opportunities are always around us. We are not always aware of the eyes looking for a touch, a thank you, or a good morning.
Godly appointments … like the one that sent Jesus out of his way through Samaria. Through his obedience a whole city found God!
We will continue to pray for the people of Freeport, Bahamas. God has connected us with those people, and with the 1000 men & women who serve aboard the Sovereign of the Seas … it’s like a floating city.
God save our ship!
Friday, December 30, 2005
A Tribute to Mom
Vera Mae Bougher 1917-2005
Most of us are acquainted with June Clever, Vestel Goodman, and Aunt Bea. (One was a loving mother, the other a gospel singer and the last, a great cook & housekeeper.) No one ever expects to get a Mom with all of those qualities …. but we did. Bud, Jean, Steve & me, we were blessed with a Mom who never ran out of hugs, kisses, pats, pieces of pie and songs about Jesus. Our Mom was able to cook for us great meals, keep the house white glove clean, … for over 70 years, it was given the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval! (Well it could have been.) She did all that while at the same time singing to us about Heaven, and about the love of God.
Last July, she celebrated a glorious life of 88 years! Who knew? When Mom spoke after a family Thanksgiving meal… all ears where attentive. She had been unable to speak clearly for 9 months or so. And yet after that Thanksgiving prayer, she makes it very clear “Final Mile, Final Mile, Final Mile.” No one realized then what Mom AKA Grandma/Great-Grandma was saying, but on the video tape you can clearly hear the evidence. She knew this was her final mile. She fell asleep on Tuesday the 21st and woke up in the presence of her Lord. Homesick for Heaven … no more.
Her funeral was at the church - the only place she would have wanted it. It just happened to be Christmas Eve morning. The family gathered, now there are 60 Boughers … some have other last names, but they are still Boughers! (Sis and Dave, missionaries to the hurting children of Africa, had to fly in – they made it, but their clothes ended up in Jamaica!) We were so surprised at the many friends and loved ones who showed up. What a tribute to Mom.
Yes, there were tears, but not for Mom … you see her arthritis was GONE, her dementia was GONE, her brittle bones were GONE! She had traveled her last mile.
This was really a day of Celebration, because we grew up, knowing about a Mansion she had, Just Over the Hilltop.
(That was a song the whole family would play and sing. If you came to the Bougher’s house on most Sunday afternoons you’d hear a C- Melody sax, a guitar, a marimba and three trumpets, playing for hours. We must have driven our neighbors nuts!)
We have so many fond memories. Most of them are attached to her songs. I not sure that Mom ever knew how she was shaping our lives with her music. Some of the grandkids still refer to her lovingly as the “Doggie in the Window” Grandma.
Her music was a reflection of her heart: I’ll Never Be Lonely Again ; He Wiped Away My Tears; In the Garden; and the song she sang via tape at her own funeral … I’ll Sing a New Song Over in Glory a song the angels cannot sing! Wow – get out the Kleenex boxes.
I think I now understand more about what helped our family make it through the tough times and struggles of life. Where ever we were, we knew Mom was praying for us and her songs kept ringing in our ears.
Memories work better than IPODS, believe me! (Mom did record a 78 LP Record. Try to find a way to play that or explain it to your nephews.)
But the real strength of our family is hidden behind a commitment that our Mom & Dad made long before any of us were born. They decided to be at church every time the doors were open. (Something their folks did not do.)
We went to church when there was no nursery or children’s church. Mom would feed us Cheerios, and put blankets under the pew for us to lie on. We learned to be quiet and reverence the House of God. Is that a forgotten concept? We heard the same songs and the same messages as the adults and it changed us. We found out that if we got out of hand, too noisy, or disruptive, Dad or Mom would help adjust our attitudes by applying a paddle, a belt, a spoon, or a switch, to the seat of knowledge.
(For a long time, I thought that the church bathroom was built just for spankings.) “Spare the rod & spoil the child” was a promise used frequently and effectively. The only place for Dr. Spock was on Mom’s prayer list.
Did it work?
I was a drinker and a liar and a thief …I stole cookies, drank milk and told stories. At four years of age - I needed JESUS! And when Pastor Long called for all sinners to come down to the altar, I knew he was talking to ME! And I ran to that altar. And YES, it worked!
Thank God for a Mom & a Dad who knew the importance of keeping their kids in church. Church was more important than Baseball, Football, Clubs, Boy Scouts, Band, Science, and even Algebra!
(Homework was done before church, just like the dishes were done after dinner. Dish Washing machines and Snow Blowers were not needed at our house. Dad bought those after we all left home.)
Here is the Heart of their Commitment:
What we heard at church was being lived before us at home!
Our Sunday School Teachers, … and we had some great ones, were only repeating the truths we had already been taught. They were simply Reinforcing the Truth of God we knew from home. The Gospel was lived out before us by Mom & Dad. When we got sick … we prayed. When we needed something changed … we prayed. When there was no answer … we prayed!
The Call of God that came so clearly to me, was heard because Mom & Dad had paid the way for me to go to Storm Lake … Bible Camp.
You can be sure that their commitment to God for their family, is still affecting the generations of Bougher’s … even those yet to come.
That’s a Spiritual Legacy.
The songs of Mom will never be forgotten because the music continues to play …in our hearts and in our ears. Now the grandkids & great grandkids are singing Grandma’s songs. (Kirk, Kraig, & H.K. III sang at her funeral.)
Don’t get me wrong, we didn’t grow up with superstar parents.
Dad doesn’t have a Superbowl ring and Mom never got a Dove Award – and they never got their picture on the cover of the Evangel or Good Housekeeping, Better Homes & Gardens or even Popular Science.
But they truly deserved that and much, much more.
I know last Wednesday Mom heard a voice she longed to hear, Come Home, Come Home … It’s Suppertime.
On Christmas Eve Jan, my wife, lost her Cousin Rae. I’m not sure what is going on in Heaven, but God just drafted two of the best cooks I know. Maybe Cousin Rae & Vera Mae are collaborating on the Marriage Supper of the Lamb? It Won’t Be Long … then we’ll be leavin’ here.
FYI: Pray for Dad … at 91, he’s lost the love of his life.
Mom & Dad were married 70 years last April!
I know he’s ready for a home-going too.
What a Day that will Be!
P.S. Somebody please pay all of these
song writers for letting me use their titles!
We love you & miss you Mom …& we’ll see you Soon & Very Soon!
Bud, Steve, Jean & Tom
Hey! One last thought from Mom …
Do YOU know Jesus?
Most of us are acquainted with June Clever, Vestel Goodman, and Aunt Bea. (One was a loving mother, the other a gospel singer and the last, a great cook & housekeeper.) No one ever expects to get a Mom with all of those qualities …. but we did. Bud, Jean, Steve & me, we were blessed with a Mom who never ran out of hugs, kisses, pats, pieces of pie and songs about Jesus. Our Mom was able to cook for us great meals, keep the house white glove clean, … for over 70 years, it was given the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval! (Well it could have been.) She did all that while at the same time singing to us about Heaven, and about the love of God.
Last July, she celebrated a glorious life of 88 years! Who knew? When Mom spoke after a family Thanksgiving meal… all ears where attentive. She had been unable to speak clearly for 9 months or so. And yet after that Thanksgiving prayer, she makes it very clear “Final Mile, Final Mile, Final Mile.” No one realized then what Mom AKA Grandma/Great-Grandma was saying, but on the video tape you can clearly hear the evidence. She knew this was her final mile. She fell asleep on Tuesday the 21st and woke up in the presence of her Lord. Homesick for Heaven … no more.
Her funeral was at the church - the only place she would have wanted it. It just happened to be Christmas Eve morning. The family gathered, now there are 60 Boughers … some have other last names, but they are still Boughers! (Sis and Dave, missionaries to the hurting children of Africa, had to fly in – they made it, but their clothes ended up in Jamaica!) We were so surprised at the many friends and loved ones who showed up. What a tribute to Mom.
Yes, there were tears, but not for Mom … you see her arthritis was GONE, her dementia was GONE, her brittle bones were GONE! She had traveled her last mile.
This was really a day of Celebration, because we grew up, knowing about a Mansion she had, Just Over the Hilltop.
(That was a song the whole family would play and sing. If you came to the Bougher’s house on most Sunday afternoons you’d hear a C- Melody sax, a guitar, a marimba and three trumpets, playing for hours. We must have driven our neighbors nuts!)
We have so many fond memories. Most of them are attached to her songs. I not sure that Mom ever knew how she was shaping our lives with her music. Some of the grandkids still refer to her lovingly as the “Doggie in the Window” Grandma.
Her music was a reflection of her heart: I’ll Never Be Lonely Again ; He Wiped Away My Tears; In the Garden; and the song she sang via tape at her own funeral … I’ll Sing a New Song Over in Glory a song the angels cannot sing! Wow – get out the Kleenex boxes.
I think I now understand more about what helped our family make it through the tough times and struggles of life. Where ever we were, we knew Mom was praying for us and her songs kept ringing in our ears.
Memories work better than IPODS, believe me! (Mom did record a 78 LP Record. Try to find a way to play that or explain it to your nephews.)
But the real strength of our family is hidden behind a commitment that our Mom & Dad made long before any of us were born. They decided to be at church every time the doors were open. (Something their folks did not do.)
We went to church when there was no nursery or children’s church. Mom would feed us Cheerios, and put blankets under the pew for us to lie on. We learned to be quiet and reverence the House of God. Is that a forgotten concept? We heard the same songs and the same messages as the adults and it changed us. We found out that if we got out of hand, too noisy, or disruptive, Dad or Mom would help adjust our attitudes by applying a paddle, a belt, a spoon, or a switch, to the seat of knowledge.
(For a long time, I thought that the church bathroom was built just for spankings.) “Spare the rod & spoil the child” was a promise used frequently and effectively. The only place for Dr. Spock was on Mom’s prayer list.
Did it work?
I was a drinker and a liar and a thief …I stole cookies, drank milk and told stories. At four years of age - I needed JESUS! And when Pastor Long called for all sinners to come down to the altar, I knew he was talking to ME! And I ran to that altar. And YES, it worked!
Thank God for a Mom & a Dad who knew the importance of keeping their kids in church. Church was more important than Baseball, Football, Clubs, Boy Scouts, Band, Science, and even Algebra!
(Homework was done before church, just like the dishes were done after dinner. Dish Washing machines and Snow Blowers were not needed at our house. Dad bought those after we all left home.)
Here is the Heart of their Commitment:
What we heard at church was being lived before us at home!
Our Sunday School Teachers, … and we had some great ones, were only repeating the truths we had already been taught. They were simply Reinforcing the Truth of God we knew from home. The Gospel was lived out before us by Mom & Dad. When we got sick … we prayed. When we needed something changed … we prayed. When there was no answer … we prayed!
The Call of God that came so clearly to me, was heard because Mom & Dad had paid the way for me to go to Storm Lake … Bible Camp.
You can be sure that their commitment to God for their family, is still affecting the generations of Bougher’s … even those yet to come.
That’s a Spiritual Legacy.
The songs of Mom will never be forgotten because the music continues to play …in our hearts and in our ears. Now the grandkids & great grandkids are singing Grandma’s songs. (Kirk, Kraig, & H.K. III sang at her funeral.)
Don’t get me wrong, we didn’t grow up with superstar parents.
Dad doesn’t have a Superbowl ring and Mom never got a Dove Award – and they never got their picture on the cover of the Evangel or Good Housekeeping, Better Homes & Gardens or even Popular Science.
But they truly deserved that and much, much more.
I know last Wednesday Mom heard a voice she longed to hear, Come Home, Come Home … It’s Suppertime.
On Christmas Eve Jan, my wife, lost her Cousin Rae. I’m not sure what is going on in Heaven, but God just drafted two of the best cooks I know. Maybe Cousin Rae & Vera Mae are collaborating on the Marriage Supper of the Lamb? It Won’t Be Long … then we’ll be leavin’ here.
FYI: Pray for Dad … at 91, he’s lost the love of his life.
Mom & Dad were married 70 years last April!
I know he’s ready for a home-going too.
What a Day that will Be!
P.S. Somebody please pay all of these
song writers for letting me use their titles!
We love you & miss you Mom …& we’ll see you Soon & Very Soon!
Bud, Steve, Jean & Tom
Hey! One last thought from Mom …
Do YOU know Jesus?
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